Well, well, well, some of these seem familiar, I'll take them in the order I read them and add some of my own.
The Three Stooges: when I was really young (like 4-5), there was a kid's show in Cleveland called "Captain Penny." (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captain_Penny)
If you're from there, you'll have fond memories. Anyway, my mom only let me watch the Stooges on Captain Penny because he always said to his audience of kids "You can laugh at them but never act like them." Mom also liked it that he ended the show with a modification of something Lincoln said:
""You can fool some of the people all of the time, all of the people some of the time, but you can’t fool Mom. She's pretty nice and she's pretty smart. If you do what Mom says you won't go far wrong."
OK, I digress. Now the other ones.
Dark Shadows: mom had standing instructions to our baby sitter than we were not to watch the show. She was a fan so she made us go to our rooms while she watched it (3 p.m. on WEWS in Cleveland). I would sneak out to the stair landing and watch anyway. I never understood it anyway.
My maternal grandparents hated "Laugh In." When I was over there, I had to watch Ed Sullivan.
Everyone knew that if you sat too close to the TV you would get a stye in your eye.
The lightning storm thing was real if you had an antenna on the roof. The guy who sold my dad lightning rods had photos of what happened when the antennas were hit by lightning. It was as if a bomb went off in the living room. Strangely, I never knew anyone this happened to.
My parents made us go to bed after "Truth or Consequences." Yes, it was 7:30 p.m. I found out later they just wanted to get rid of us. Bed was 7:30 until the fourth grade then it was 8. And Sunday, because school was the next day, it was "Flipper" and then to bed. Even know when I hear the "Flipper" theme, I feel a little melancholy.
After I destroyed the downstairs black and white console by pouring water down the back of it (I was curious as to what would happen. I found out), we were not to touch any of the dials of the new Sears color console unless one of my parents was right there with us. This was until I was 11.
My mom would turn off some shows that she thought were too scary for me - in the middle of the show. She did this with "Speed Racer" and "Kimba." To this day, I have no idea why.
I anyone remembers the show "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman," the new program director at WJW TV8 in Cleveland decided to be a wise guy and put the show on at 7:30 p.m. instead of 11:30 where it was. We were forbidden from watching it because it was "too adult" for us. It wasn't at that time slot for very long due to the public outcry. The program director called Cleveland a hopelessly backwards city and went back to Boston.
WKYC TV3 advertised the cartoon "Wait 'til Your Father Gets Home" as an "adult" show which was the kiss of death for us watching it. Dad called it "that damn hippy cartoon."
And yet, my parents had no issues with us being in the room where we were showed mangled Marines being evacuated from the battlefields of Vietnam on "The CBS Evening News with Walter Cronkite." Funny that.
Oh, I almost forgot. The lyrics you posted reminded me I had a childhood crush on Cathy. It was years before I realized they were both played by the same actor. Cathy was intelligent and warm hearted. Patty was a pest.